A Homeschooling Story

Intro

My name is Joanne Shrestha. I am a homeschooling mother of 3 children: Tylor is 10, Brianna is 8 and Corban is 6. We live in Omaha NE with my husband, Bobby.

Our Journey into Homeschooling

Like most mothers, the thought of homeschooling my children never crossed my mind. It was so exciting getting Tylor ready for his first day of kindergarten. Backpack, pencil, colors, stick glue, scissors, pencil box, and of course a box of tissue for the class. We had a blast collecting all these things! Yet even as he went to school the first day, I couldn’t help feeling wrong about it. I just passed my feelings off as normal; I would get used to it. As the months went by, the excitement for both of us wore off. Tylor did not like school. He was very smart, just not mature (trained) enough to handle sitting most of the day. Still, his teacher and I worked together and he made it through all right. In first grade, he was bringing home schoolwork to finish.

I remember thinking – what the heck is he in school all day for if he has to bring it home too? Many nights were spent cooking, eating, cleaning up, doing homework and going to bed. So much for ‘quality family time’! We were both stressed out a lot with all the pressure of getting things done on time. ‘On time for what?’ I often wondered. Parent-teacher conferences rolled around. I was told my son was not completing his work and spent much of his class time drawing on his worksheets. I knew he was smart enough to do the work, but I couldn’t understand why he was not doing it. Well, needless to say, he got herded on to the second grade. Now the real fun begins. His new teacher insisted he had ADD. At parent-teacher conference with her, she told me that my son was very deep, he had a great imagination, in fact, he is the most creative artist she’s ever seen. He draws beautifully, she said, very intricate and detailed. She showed me samples of his artwork … he would do the first few problems of math (correctly) on the worksheet, then draw all over the rest of it, often incorporating the other numbers on the page into his designs. I thought it was awesome! She thought it was disobedient. She told me he was falling behind his peers because he did not complete his assignments. Towards the end of the school year, his teacher, school counselor and principle had a meeting with me. The told me (almost exact quote) ‘Although the work Tylor produces is above average, he does not produce enough of it to pass’. They wanted to hold him back! I remember thinking – he’s not producing enough work because he’s bored. During the next few days I thought real hard … then one thought stuck out, ‘who gave them the right to think they know what’s best for my son?? I DID by letting him go to public school’. I took him out of school and never looked back.

Beginning The Homeschool Journey

Following is a little list that might help the prospecting or beginning homeschooler put things into order, or it might give the non-homeschooler a nice perspective. Please understand that I did not do things in this order. However, if I could turn back time, this is the order that would have been most helpful to me. Also, it does help to know why you wish to homeschool – sounds silly, but true.

Read, read and read some more. The public library was, and still is, my best friend. A few books that really helped me a lot were ‘Homeschooling for Excellence’ By David and Micki Colfax, ‘The Successful Homeschool Family Handbook’ By Dr. Raymond Moore, ‘Dumbing Us Down’ By John Taylor Gatto, and books by John Holt (of course I have ready hundreds of books, but those had a big impact on me). We are not super-human, we do forget, therefore I strongly suggest taking notes on every book or resource you read. These notes become a wonderful reference tool later, or they are great to skim over when you need some inspiration. Here are a few tips on note-taking:

· Use one piece of paper to put on the front as a cover page – list the book name, author, where you got it and when you read it. Also, it helps to number each page just in case … when you are done, staple them all in order.

· Make sure you write the chapter first and reference any page numbers that really struck you as important (too much good info to write in your notes!).

· Use highlighters to mark different things. Ex: yellow for other books mentioned, pink for websites mentioned, green for awesome tips you think you will use right away, etc. Try to always use the colors in the same way with each book you take notes on – it sure makes it easier to skim through when you are in a hurry.

· Start a file system, even if it’s just a folder in your existing file system, a big envelope or a drawer by itself. I suggest filing your most recent notes in the front, however some like to file in the back – whatever works for you. This may seem like a lot of work, but trust me, it’s worth it. I have notes from years ago that I still browse through when I feel like we are in a rut. I often read my favorite books once or twice a year, just to freshen me up a bit.

Find a support group. Although you may think you don’t need one, you’d be surprised by what you can learn from a group of parents who have truly ‘been there, done that’. Our city has great groups – The Gardener and H.E.N. are the largest. Then there are medium sized groups that are a little more tailored to your personal style – like the Omaha Unschoolers group (my favorite!). Also you will find many groups within churches and neighborhoods. Often times the larger groups can point you to a smaller group that will better suit your needs. One thing you will realize quickly – homeschoolers are everywhere! The bigger groups offer field trips just like public schoolers go to (plays on stage, musicals, trips to various museums and educational/recreational sites throughout the city) all with reduced prices for the kids and usually free for the teachers (parent), and the public school kids are often there too. Larger groups also offer connections to other activities – basketball, volleyball, football, gym class, foreign language instruction, science clubs, chess clubs, drama, music, band, you name, we got it! Year books, kindergarten and high school graduation, homecoming, prom, educational tours to other states and countries, science fairs, scouting, 4-H; got all those too! As you have might have guessed, support groups are wonderful. You may not need a group as you become more confident, however it is a nice way to begin your journey and meet other homeschoolers.

Determine your homeschooling style. Many people do not realize how different homeschooling really is from public school. Imagine your child having his own personal tutor! That’s what it’s all about – tailored to the child. There are many different ‘styles’ of homeschooling; once you find your personal style, it’s easier to do research and find curriculum that better suits your family. A few styles would be: Classical, Montessori, Unit Studies, Charlotte Mason Method, Unschooling, Waldorf Method, Moore Formula, school-at-home, Charter School (usually by internet), delayed instruction, and so on. I will let you do the research on each method! Just about every homeschooler I have met uses a mix of the above styles and methods for different subjects. I like the teachings of Charlotte Mason, John Holt, Dr. Raymond Moore and others. People often label us unschoolers, but that in and of itself is very vague as each unschooling (and homeschooling) family is very different.

Choose a curriculum. Often times when you research the different styles, you will find references to curriculum that supports that style – take notes! Please realize it is very normal to buy many things that you will never use (you can sale them later at used curriculum fairs)! Also, it is very normal to doubt your choices. If you choose a curriculum and it does not ‘click’ with your child, try not to force him to complete it – it will only cause frustration and resentment. Remember, homeschooling is tailored to the child! If something works better, use it! Since we are unschoolers, it’s easy for me to say ‘don’t use curriculum at all unless your child really enjoys it’, use your imagination and the real resources around you. Kids tend to learn much better by being involved in the subject matter vs. reading about it in a textbook. That’s my opinion, take it or leave it! (you can purchase new and used curriculum online, some local stores have limited supplies, or check with local support groups for their used curriculum fairs)

Learn the laws. We have it easy here in Nebraska! We are only required to tell the state we are doing it, how we are doing it, and how many hours a month we plan to spend teaching it. The board of education does have the right to inspect your home. Every state has it’s own set of rules for homeschoolers, know your laws and abide by them. (you can research homeschooling laws on the HSLDA website)

Prepare yourself for nay-sayers. Many will question you in a variety of ways. The most popular being “what about socialization?” I really learned to hate this question, yet I embrace it as an opportunity to open their eyes (hopefully). I usually come back with “define socialization”. As you have read in item #2 above, homeschoolers have plenty of chances for social interaction with other kids of all ages. However, they also have the blessing of learning how life works from day to day in the real world – true socialization. Learning side-by-side with and from their Mom, Dad, brothers and sisters, maybe even Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles. Another big question is “are you educated enough to teach them?” Maybe I ain’t, but if their desire exceeds my knowledge, I do sure know how to fix them right up with a mentor, special interest group or educational co-op! (Hope you all caught my sarcasm.) My favorite response of all time, “I couldn’t stand to be around my kids all day like that, how do you do it?” What the heck did you have kids for then?! Maybe they can’t stand being around you all day! (I have never said that, but surely do think it.)

A Comparison of Public School (ps) and the Real World (rw)

(ps) Learning happens at a certain time, in a certain place, with certain materials and resources pre-determined by a higher-power ‘for their own good’.
(rw) Learning is everywhere – not just in books or from 8-3pm, but in the home, on the street, at the park, in the library, at museums, in your neighbors backyard, on grandpa’s lap, at a community service project, etc. To put a time and a place on learning is to squash natural curiosity; learning becomes a chore, something you have to do instead of your natural way of life. Last month I got my battery replaced in my watch. My kids stood there and asked a long series of questions to the ‘watch guy’ (Anderson Watch Repair to be exact) and he answered every one. They learned so much from him!! Another time we were walking down the street and two men were working in a man hole. They let my kids get right up to it and look in – and they answered all their questions. How awesome is that? I could write a large book about our experiences like this, all learning and teaching opportunities, yet all very fun for the kids (and the adults involved!).

(ps) Certain subjects and topics are to be learned at certain ages in a particular order.
(rw) Who and the heck determined that?! If my child wants to learn about electricity through experiments, why should he have to wait till he’s in the 3rd quarter of the seventh grade?? To put an order to learning for every child to follow is like saying every child is the same. My daughter was reading large chapter books when she was 6, however my youngest son, who is now 6, could care less about learning how to read! If he was in public school right now, he’d be labeled ‘a slow learner’, yet he knows a lot about other subjects that other kids his age don’t.

(ps) Art, music, p.e., and other things of the sort are ‘extra activities’ therefore not worthy of more than a half hour or so of their time every week.
(rw) No wonder why we don’t know how to enjoy ourselves and be creative! In my opinion, these things should be balanced with other studies, not considered ‘extra’. Need I say more?

(ps) Kids are forced to put up with the bully, eat crappy food with no choice for seconds, and hold their urine till 10a.m.
(rw) Some bully’s would get in trouble for harassment, you can go potty whenever you want, and eat till you are full; although the food still might be crappy :o) But what a good teaching tool – if your kids don’t like the food you make, give them to resources to learn how to fix some meals for the family!

(ps) Speak when spoken to, don’t question authority, test and perform to a certain standard.
(rw) Based on what I’ve told you above, my kids are not afraid to go up to an adult and ask “WHY?” or say “I don’t understand”. I think those are very important qualities that many people have problems with as adults. I am not afraid to admit when I am wrong, they are allowed to question me, I am not the ‘be all end all’. In the real world, their opinions and views are well respected by other intelligent and open-minded people, and they are far from ‘standard’. I think often times kids in public school, myself included, work towards the standard set for them and then stop. Or they memorize information for the test and then forget about it soon after. They don’t have real life experiences to tie their learning to therefore it’s hard to hold on to it.

(ps) If they are smart enough, they can take advanced classes in math and science; otherwise they are not worthy or able to handle such knowledge.
(rw) If you want to learn something, you can; whenever, however and as much as you choose.

A Day in the Life of an Unschooling Family

This part is very hard to write about – since we are unschoolers, we really do not have a schedule. Sure my children have chores around the house. They all are responsible for their own laundry, they help with the animals (only two right now), and do yard work. I consider all of these things very important parts of life in general. They also take turns with other jobs like shopping, cooking, budgeting, balancing the checkbook, helping me take care of my Grandma, cleaning my dad’s house, etc. These are all vital experiences they will need to know when they are adults – why not teach them now?
As for daily things – we usually try to take a walk. There are many places we like to go, but our favorite is a lake that’s in town but feels like it’s not. There’s a dirt path going all the way around it (6 miles or more??). We love to go and do some bird watching. Sometimes we will bring our bird book with, other times we will bring backpacks with food, notebooks, drawing materials, books for reading, or nothing at all. It’s so awesome being able to spend our days like this – true freedom. At night, I always try to read to them – some books I choose, some they choose, but I do not force them to sit and listen. I do however ask that they respect those who want to listen. They are to stay in the same room but do a quiet activity; often times they become interested in the book or at least pick up some of it while they are playing. Other than those two things, we pretty much wing it. Of course we take advantage of the local zoo, children’s museum, state parks and other museums whenever we can. By not having to stick to someone else’s schedule, we are allowed the flexibility to get up at 3 in the morning to watch a meteor shower or lunar eclipse, stay out late at a concert, or stay up late reading books to each other.

So, Exactly Why Then Do I Homeschool?

Some people think I (and others) homeschool to ‘shelter my children from the outside world’. However, it’s exactly the opposite for us!! I homeschool so my kids will know how to be creative, thinking, contributing members of society. I feel they will not be lost when they are ready to be on their own because they will have lived in the ‘real world’ their whole lives. They will know how to handle a lot of different situations because they will have seen me and other adults handle them several times before.

I also homeschool because it just feels natural to me. Sending my son off to public school for 3 years killed me inside! Having them all at home has brought me so many rewards as a mother. Just knowing that I am the one they are learning from, I am the one that planted the seed either by showing them myself or giving them the resources to do it on their own. They use other adults, not peers, as role models.

Another reason I homeschool is because I feel public school is a waste of time. They teach and re-teach the same things over and over again. 12 years of public school can be learned easily in 2 or 3 years when your child is ready to learn it. They also discourage individuality and creativity; kids are trained to be good little drones ready for the workforce. I would rather my children do what makes them happy and not be afraid to challenge authority or peers.

Hopefully with proper guidance from me, my husband, and other adults in my children’s lives, they will all learn how to be faithful spouses, great parents, true friends, loyal workers, have strong characters, high self-esteems and always love learning.