"But, How Will They Turn Out?" A Homeschooling Mom's Answer

By Fran Hansen

Step by step, we began the quest. We were hot on the trail for answers to our questions. Hunting down homeschooling families made us like bloodhounds looking for a killer. We were on the verge of homeschooling our three children, but didn’t want to embark on such a colossal commitment until armed with the facts. My husband and I read books, called people, attended conferences, and went so far as to personally visit other homeschoolers before we gave the world our final answer. That answer didn’t win us a million dollars, but it ended up yielding something far more precious. That is, three young adults who are now upstanding citizens-successful in life, whose characters we were able to form.

One by one we knocked down the menacing verbal threats of others as they taunted us in our journey. One such accusation was that our children wouldn’t have enough socialization. We soon learned the facts. Studies that had been done stated that home schooled children were actually more "socialized" than those attending public schools. The reasons theorized for this is that homeschoolers are more exposed to the outside world and therefore more readily socialized with people of all ages, not just their peers, producing students who become more adept at communicating with all kinds of people.

More fiery darts were hurled at us from some inquiring just how far we would dare to go if we couldn’t teach science courses. I have my BS degree in Nursing so I was already familiar with basic anatomy, physiology and chemistry, so I didn’t see any problem in showing my children an amoeba under a microscope slide and teaching them about mitosis. As parents, we thoroughly discussed this and decided that if we got to the place where we thought we were homeschooling our children to their detriment, we would then put them in public school. This approach worked better than being narrow-minded and brutally stubborn about their future. Of course, yet to follow was the cascade of doubts that were flung at us regarding the myth that our children would not get into college very easily. The more we learned, the more we were convinced that we wanted to be the mentors to our children. We had this opportunity and this challenge to shape their characters and mold the products of our procreation. We decided to go for it!

When we started, our children were in grades 4, 3, and 1. The two eldest had attended public school for the previous grades, and the youngest had attended public school for ½ day kindergarten. When our eldest daughter was in the 3rd grade of public school, she hated math and was put in a special math program. She tried hard, yet she developed a mental block for math that caused her to come home with headaches daily. Nights were wrought with anxious anticipation coupled with stomach aches over the stress of returning to school the next day. As a result of her need to be placed in a special math class, she was missing her spelling class. The school did nothing to make up for the spelling that she was missing. Her brother, next in line, had just finished 2nd grade with a teacher who had some strange idea of grading. Our son came home with A’s on all of his second grade work, but the teacher refused to give him an A on his report card, citing some comment that his “attitude” didn’t match up with his grades. (Our son is a comedian but not a trouble maker.) Our last son adapted quickly to the notion of homeschool, once he got over the fact that he was going to be missing out on eating in the school cafeteria!

Through the (over 10) years of homeschooling, we used all kinds of curriculum. Self-paced units on various subjects were mixed with accelerated courses. The library was our biggest resource and we spent loads of time there. By the time our middle son got into the first year, he had found a love for history that propelled him into finishing his history text far before the year’s end. At the library, he discovered biographies of famous historical figures and he read every one on the shelf! My husband built an abacus as a way of introducing math in a new way to my daughter. Everyone was fascinated with it. We taught our youngest how to read. Our children were involved in many outside activities which included such things as music lessons, basketball tournaments, scouts, and youth activities with other groups. My husband was the food service manager at our city’s Rescue Mission. He brought our children to work with him sometimes where they volunteered in the fund-raising arena, helping with filing and mailings. They assisted in the kitchen, learning what it is to be a prep cook, in the adult home, visiting the elderly, as well as learning to do ordering invoices for food supplies! We became more acquainted with other homeschoolers and soon learned that homeschooling was a way of life, a new lifestyle. It wasn’t just a cookie cutter copy of the public school academic setting.

The more we realized that teaching our children was a lifestyle, the more we were able to expound upon everything. Our camping trip to Vermont in the summer incorporated lessons for the children. We found many times that we were able to combine science, math and English when preparing assignments. We made football dolls and raccoon hats. My history buff son used to wear his and go out in the woods like he was really Daniel Boone!! We hired a local artist to come and give our children chalk art lessons. He was also an impersonator, so sometimes I’d come home from my job and hear Ronald Reagan upstairs teaching the kids how to draw a parrot. Other times it might be Elvis or some other known figure. The sky was the limit in this new endeavor of teaching our children. Intertwined with the academics came the molding of their characters. A trip to the apple farm was more than just picking apples. It was learning about the apples, the trees, the farmers, and how to make apple pie. There was so much to learn with everything we did.

Then came the day that changed our lives forever…that was the day my husband was diagnosed with MS. After that, our children had to learn to work more independently while I cared for their dad. While I fed him breakfast, they would be doing their reading. As his health digressed, we had numerous therapists, nurses and aides come to the house. The kids learned to work through interruptions. They learned about empathy and compassion. They learned that change comes in life, and they learned how to cope with change. When my husband, a Vietnam Veteran, passed away in 1999 at the age of 50, they learned a lot more about life, and about death, and about more change. Now I was left to continue on my own. I didn’t give up on homeschooling, because I believed in it more than ever, and I was already getting comments and compliments on the character of my children.

When he died, my daughter was 19. She had completed her high school requirements at the age of 16 and gone on to get her license in cosmetology. She attended the local community college and earned her Associates degree toward elementary education. In 2002, she was married and is now the mother of 3 beautiful children and wife to a National Guardsman. She is on the board at her church and is helping with opening a school next year.

My next child is 25. He completed his school work at the age of 16. He attended community college and obtained his Associates in Science degree. He was listed in Who’s Who at American Junior Colleges. He went on to Binghamton University and obtained his BS in Human Resources. He then went to Quantico, Virginia, and went through the rigorous training to become a 2nd Lieutenant in the Marine Corps. He became a manager for a well known oil company. He was promoted and given a $12,000 raise in less than a year. He is now a Marketing Representative and doing very well. He was chosen to train the owner’s son. I won’t forget the day he called to tell me he was chosen for that challenge. He said, “Just think, a homeschooler training a Harvard student!”

The youngest is 21. He attended the local community college as he was winding down his high school requirements, also at the age of 16. He took some courses in criminal justice and decided to join the Marine Corps. Off he went to boot camp. He is now on his 3rd deployment to Iraq and was recently meritoriously promoted to Sergeant. He is a political analyst in Marine Corps Intelligence. His Staff Sgt. wrote a letter of recommendation for him. In that letter, he told of how my son’s work excelled, how he is consulted by Chief Executive Officers for major decisions, and stated that, not only would he recommend him for future work in the corporate world, but he would “actively seek him out.” When I read the letter, I cried, thinking of the years of hard work, commitment, and change…knowing that all that was poured into him wasn’t in vain, and knowing that his father would be very proud of him as well. He is married and the father of a beautiful little girl.

It’s hard to believe that the years of homeschooling are over for me. Through the trials, over the mountains of change and the valleys of decision, we forged ahead. There were times of uncertainty about the future and times we felt like giving up, but perseverance paid off. My children are known for their character and integrity. They can make decisions on their own and they are not afraid to stand up for their beliefs. They are all in leadership positions. They have accomplished much for their young ages, in spite of the heartache and adjustments they have had to endure. I know their father would be proud of them. As for me? No longer do I have to stand and wonder how they will turn out. Now I just wait and watch with anticipation to cheer them on in their next success.