Diaperless... Eliminiation Communication

"Laughter is like changing a baby's diaper. It doesn't permanently solve any problems, but it makes things more acceptable for a while" - Unknown

Diaperless in Gibsons by Sheila Cameron Grimaces. Disbelief. Rolling eyes. Friends and family were aghast when I told them my desire to try natural infant hygiene (diaperless) with my second child. I raved about how I could save money, reduce waste, and toilet train early. My motivations were slightly selfish, but the idea also appealed to my romantic and minimalist nature. I learned about the method from Today’s Parent article Diaper Dance (Sara Cassidy, Feb, 04). Barely pregnant, I purchased the suggested book by Ingrid Bauer, Diaper Free! The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene. I was immediately saddened by the lost opportunity with my first child. Many times I had cut short the giggles of audiences, letting Iris know it was perfectly normal to have a poop anywhere, anytime. Diapers had conditioned me to let the chips fall where they may and it never occurred to me to have

them fall in the toilet. I chastised myself for failing to recognize the communication of a basic human need as I recalled several fussy episodes which I observed to be relieved by the passing of urine. Although the book has suggestions for late starters, there would be no chance to try with Iris. She was over a year old and I was returning to work.

When Simon was born, Iris was less than 21 months and still in diapers. She quit napping a month later and I was overwhelmed by my new workload. With no support from anyone (even my husband, who agreed with the concept, couldn’t see putting it into practise), I was having doubts about the diaperless plan.

At three months, a mild rash appeared on Simon’s groin and I left him on an absorbent pad to air his parts. Half an hour later, I noticed that he hadn’t peed yet. I took him to the bathroom sink and supported him at the edge. I turned on the water gently and said “peepeepeepeepeepeepee”. He peed! I was amazed. Two more times that evening I had the same result and was so excited I began calling people to brag. The next day was far from perfect, but each success lifted my spirits and gave me greater resolve to keep trying.

Before long, I learned to position Simon over the toilet. With his back against my tummy, my hands under his thighs and the all-important finger on his penis to keep it aimed, I straddled the toilet seat facing backwards. When he bored of smashing my head with the toilet lid, I started taking him outside. He loved that and it would remain his favourite place, with the added benefit of simplifying outings and road travel.

I soon found that the frequent “peepee” excursions with Simon were straining my relationship with two year old Iris. I began to attempt diaperless mainly at night when Simon and I were alone, holding him over a bucket by the bed when he stirred. He wore disposables during the day but we continued to practise part-time. My husband was inspired and began to participate. We found we were saving a lot of diapers, sometimes only needing one or two for an entire day.
When I spoke of my success, friends and relatives suddenly approved and began to admit stories they had heard or witnessed. I was thrilled to hear that my own grandmother, on a Manitoba farm, held her babies over a newspaper when they had to go.

I was skeptical of the beauty of “elimination communication” (a phrase coined by Ingrid Bauer), but by six months Simon was easily communicating his needs. As I didn’t see any “I’m-about-to-pee” signals, I relied on timing, taking him to pee every 30-60 minutes and always upon awakening. Once held over the pee-spot-du-jour his signals were clear—immediately releasing the pee, or arching his back up and away. A few grunts would signal an impending poop. He nearly always allowed time to get to the toilet where we’d groan, tighten our tummies and exchange meaningful smiles. Cleanup, a simple wipe with toilet paper, was bliss compared to a messy diaper. On the flipside, the occasional messy underwear resulted in more work than disposables.

At 17 months, Simon sat on the toilet. Without words he let me know he had outgrown my hold and wanted to sit up and read magazines while having a bowel movement. Now at 18 months, he wears underwear almost exclusively and stands while peeing into any receptacle we provide him. I believe the transition to independent toilet use will be much easier for Simon than it was for his sister, who chose to quit wearing diapers at 35 months.

The diaperless method isn’t flawless, but it has saved money, reduced waste and softened my approach with my children. I’ve given up my notion of “early” toilet training, and instead am thrilled with our progress. The risky endeavor has paid off and the choice to refrain from diaper use now seems extraordinarily obvious to me.

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